IN LOU OF

odd purchases

2010-04-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

I like sites like drugstore dot com where you can order odd things like a 50 pack of vinyl gloves and no one will judge you. I read the reviews for the vinyl gloves and there are so many uses for them that never would've occurred to me ie: wearing them to mix meatloaf. Next time I'm mixing up meatloaf I'll utilize my vinyl gloves. I also bought a workout dvd. Vinyl gloves and a workout dvd- what a great match. I can wear my gloves for extra grip on my dumbbells...

let down

2010-04-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

Ugh I am such a let down I haven't posted in so long and for this my profoundest apologies and condolences. I've just been so busy in the country doing country things! Not entirely true but I have no better excuses. So here's a new list.

1. My legs itch. I think from dry skin.
2. Currently reading She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. Wally Lamb sounds like a made up name. I like the book but the main character Dolores annoys me. She has an attitude problem and then her mom dies and she's all like wah wah wah I'm sad I'm terrible I'm bad oh shoulda coulda woulda... shut up Dolores! Gah you're so stupid! Part of it I found predictable - like her inappropriate time spent with upstairs neighbor guy. I though "girl, he is gonna rape you or something" and what do you know...
3. I tried to keep a food journal to track if something I'm eating sets off the insane migraines I've been getting. That didn't last long. I wrote down 3 days and forgot all about it. I guess when I get another migraine I'll think about it again.
4. I did my taxes and hate turbo tax yet always use it.
5. Glee starts again this week!!!
6. I saw some movies:
-Clash of the Titans- incredibly cheesy, yet entertaining. I have GOT to get myself one of those pegasus (pegasuses, pegasi??)
-Blind Side- dang good. I didn't expect to like this because I don't generally like the heart-wrenching unfortunate athlete stories. So this was an exception.
-Shutter Island- tricky.
-Iron Man 2 Trailer- I've seen the trailer so many times I just can't wait. Can't. Wait.

I can't even come up with 10 things. Bleh.

twinnnzzzz

2010-03-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

hairstyles match.

i love dad

2010-01-27T22:04:00.000-08:00

Larry sent me a text message via Skype. It said:

"are you my daughter?"

mom's dream world of puppies and babies

2010-01-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Carolyn created this ode to her babies...

plastic clothes and babies

2010-01-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

CONGRATS TO NATE & JODIE!
My niece Lucy is finally here hooray!
And, Nate's plastic suit has thumb holes. Could this day BE any better?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

these things of late

2010-01-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

10 Things of Late About Lou

1. There is a big difference between being fussed at and fussed over.

2. I've taken to eating in my bed. A habit I previously viewed as vile. But now it actually makes me feel quite regal and decadent like Cleopatra or Marie Antoinette. I'm just careful to mind the crumbs.

3. Sink's clogged. Garbage disposal broken.

4. Dang windy out.

5. I like to have gal pal time. I thought I hated this but I think I may actually like giggling and talking about boys sometimes. Who am I?

6. I may have a brain aneurysm. Such pressure. Such pain.

7. I have a CD in my car that I only listen to track # 1. Then replay it. Then replay again. Again. Again...

8. Beware of the staunch woman. S-T-A-U-N-C-H staunch.

9. Sometimes I think about Britney Murphy and how she is dead. Then I think about Heath Ledger. Dead dead dead. Clueless and 10 Things I Hate About You - best teen movies of all time.

10. I ripped my jeans putting them on. I nearly cried.

wild thing i think i love you

2010-01-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

"Never love a wild thing, Mr. Bell," Holly advised him. "That was Doc's mistake. He was always lugging home wild things. A hawk with a hurt wing. One time it was a full-grown bobcat with a broken leg. But you can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up, Mr. Bell. If you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky."...
-Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's

monday yo-play

2009-12-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

Sent at 4:24 PM on Monday
me: ew monday

Phillip: meh.

i know

me: just eating my yoplait now

licked the lid and threw it in the trash

Phillip: ha!

i love doing that

i dont like it when people see

nor do i like watching others do it

unless i know/like them

ie lou

me: it has to be done

i cant just throw it in the trash without licking it

happy christmas all

2009-12-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

safety at work

2009-12-24T13:16:00.000-08:00

I was sitting at my desk just now and suddenly thought "oh! I've been sitting here without my seatbelt on!" But I am in a desk chair. There is no seatbelt.

It is Christmas Eve.

xmas wish list important update

2009-12-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

FYI: the dinosaur sweater is now on sale...

anybody?

anybody?

the. dinosaur. sweater. is. on. sale.

all i want for christmas is a dinosaur sweater...

2009-12-11T22:53:00.000-08:00

PLEASE!!!!!

a dance poem i did not write

2009-12-11T22:32:00.001-08:00

with the record selection with the neon reflection i'm dancin with myself

well there's nothin to lose and there's nothin to prove

i'll be dancin with myself

if i had the chance i'd ask the world to dance and i'll be dancin with myself

come into my office

2009-12-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

have a seat. let's chat about how we feel today.

verse

2009-12-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

a haiku by sis:

Time passes slowly

Artificial snow falls down

From the ceiling vents

(referring to the fake snow at the Galleria. I nearly busted my face in betsey johnson due to the slickness.)

the playlist

2009-11-25T19:36:00.000-08:00

here are the latest and greatest (at least to me):

The Gun - Lou Reed

Mambo Solitario - Kraak & Smaak

Bankrobber - The Clash

Fever (Sinden Remix) - La Lupe

Let's Finish (Sinden Remix) - Kudu

I'm a Lady - Santigold

Lasso - Phoenix

Beijos - DJ Vadim

Little Lion - Parov Stelar

Feel it in my Bones (feat. Tegan and Sara) - Tiesto

If We Ever (feat. Makeba) - David Guetta

Looking for a whole album recommendation? I highly recommend the following:

Kaleidoscope - Tiesto

One Love - David Guetta

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix

Rock n Rolla Soundtrack

-also-

any compilations by DJ Lou Wallace.....

because I'm passionate about music. music is to lou as draping is to rami.
LYLAS
-LOU

my pal and I - we like to dance.

2009-11-22T09:47:00.001-08:00

"Please send me your last pair of shoes, worn out with dancing as you mentioned in your letter, so that I might have something to press against my heart."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

a list. inspired by... a list.

2009-11-17T21:32:00.000-08:00

Here are some things of note:

1. I bought new deodorant that is "motion activated". It smells divine so I like to wave my arms around to "activate" the scent during the day.

2. While shopping for boots I found a pair that was super duper. Then I noticed they were Jessica Simpson brand and I threw them down. Maybe shallow, but I just don't think I want Jessica Simpson shoes.

3. I watched a music video for Beyonce's "Video Phone" song this morning. This blond chick popped up in the video. I said to roomie Mel, "who dat?" It was Lady Gaga. I did not recognize her without all that junk she wears on her face. I like her. And I liked her together with Beyonce. They should be best pals and go to the mall together.

4. Kent and I had a taste test for 2 brands of Ginger Ale. Schweppes vs. Canada Dry with Green Tea flavor. I didn't like that Green Tea flavor. I like my Ginger Ale to be straight Ginger Ale. And if there is Gin in with the Ginger Ale that is alright too. Schweppes won. I actually went to the Schweppes website out of curiosity. I mean, what could you possibly put on a Ginger Ale website? They found something to put on there. Visit if you like.

5. New comp has Windows 7. I like this.

6. I am bored with food. I don't care to eat anything right now it just seems like a chore. Times like these I wish there was a "food pill" I could just take and have enough energy to sustain me through the day.

7. I hope for things I have no business hoping for.

8. I hate the country. (I think I may have mentioned this before...)

9. I can't bear to spend money on buying new contacts but I can drop $100 on El Salvadorian food. (Which is ridiculous considering I'm bored with food! Pupusas are excluded I suppose.)

10. Now this:

i dreamed a dream i cut my arm off

2009-11-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

I had this dream some time ago and for some reason was thinking about it today. Any analysis is welcome...

I dreamed I was taking a shower in the house I grew up in. La la la shower shower shower. My arm suddenly started to bother me - it felt so heavy and cumbersome. I figured, "well I'll just get rid of this." So I cut my arm off. I stood there in the shower, holding my arm in my hand and tossing it up and down. It felt so wobbly and heavy. I let it drop into the water pooling in the tub (the drain was clearly clogged with hair because it wasn't draining properly and the water had already submerged my feet.) It was when I dropped it in the water and the water turned murky brown with blood that I became alarmed. Then I noticed the water washing the skin and blood away from the bone and I could see bare bone sticking out. I thought "hmm that's gross" and got out of the shower. It was only when I started to towel off that my arm really started bleeding. It soaked my white towel. I felt faint. I stuck my head out of the bathroom door and screamed for my mom. "Mommmmmmmmm!!!" Then I woke up.

My interpretation is there was something in my life that was a burden. Something troublesome that I felt I needed to get rid of. So I acted rashly and got rid of the problem, but then had doubts and regrets after doing so. Maybe I needed that burden in my life after all? Maybe I need both arms, even though the one arm is heavy at times?

who wants a mix tape?

2009-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

I have some new jams I would love to share. Please comment if you'd like your own mix. HBW thinks I should return to my DJ hobby. Maybe I shall... but for some reason I don't like the music out right now. All the things I've recently downloaded are from 2006 and earlier. And apparently 1997 was a good year for music that suits my tastes.

Another thing I don't like right now is the current crop of suitors. Blek. I might shut the application process down for a while and maybe revisit when there are more qualified applicants available.

The country is still boring. The only thing to do is go to Terget, run down the street, go to Wegmans annnnnd that's it. I drive all over tarnation. My car is getting old and tired. My body is old and tired. The country is killing me softly.

it's gracie

2009-11-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

I'm taking over the blog y'all!!!!

LYLAS,
Gracie

sunday nights are for spaceships

2009-11-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

Fun with the new compy. You'd think we had never used a webcam before...

BFF

2009-10-31T16:52:00.001-07:00

Gracie + Phyllis = BFFs!!!!!!!!!!!

Gracie: will you be my friend forever?

Phyllis: yes. forever.

2009-10-22T20:00:00.001-07:00

You know its a good day when no one has yelled at you in the last 24 hours. Go Thursday!

2009-10-22T05:46:00.001-07:00

So I thought I'd try this "mobile blogging" method. We'll see how it goes! I guess at this point I should just be twittering but no. One step at a time...

technology failed me

2009-10-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

Hi. It's me Lou. Remember? Well my computer broke. Dell is building me a new one. Bberry hurts my dang thumbs. Please excuse me from the blog until my compy arrives. Many thanks.

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

2009-10-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Attn: Potential Suitors

Lou Wallace is now accepting applications for "Quality Time". To apply for QT please review the following qualifications. The un-qualified need not apply. Your application will be reviewed and we will contact you if interested to schedule an interview. No phone calls. No drop ins.

Required Qualifications:

-Bachelor, Master, or Doctorate degree preferred. Some college will be considered with proof of additional work/life experience.

-Sense of humor. Preferably dry. (However, sense of humor can not take precedence over the expression of real emotion.)

-Minimal emotional issues.

-Optimal living situation is alone. Roommates are acceptable as long as they did not give birth to the applicant.

-Desirable personality traits include ambitious, confident, compassionate, loyal, independent, and proactive.

-Must have life goals.

-Must have car.

Lou Wallace is NOT an equal opportunity employer. Do not apply if you are under 5'10" tall. Do not apply if you have a poor credit rating. Do not apply if you are mentally handicapped. Do not apply if you do not speak fluent English in an audible accent. Do not apply if you have committed a misdemeanor or felony. Do not apply if you have children. Do not apply if you are pregnant.

Thank you and good luck on your pursuit.

hey polly pocket!

2009-10-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

I carry this girl around in my pocket she is so cute.

country things to do

2009-09-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

You may ask yourself, "Hm. Wonder what Lou does out in the country..."

Well friends, tonight I took a 30 minute shower so hot it made me near the passing out point, during which I picked all the nail polish off my fingers.

It's really all about creativity out here. You have to find pleasure in the simple things. Simple things like picking nail polish. I have painted my nails more times since moving to the country than I have in the past 5 years. I like to have painted nails for tippy typing on the computer all day long at work. It makes the speed of my fingers more noticeable.

I'm going to paint my newly picked nails now.

XOXOXO LYLAS BFF TTYL

pandas! inspired by pandas!

2009-09-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

If my brother reads my blog his panda surprise will be spoiled! It's worth the risk!

Here is the panda mania sis and I found while shopping for our soon to be born niece, Lucy......

ahhh pandas that love you! ahhhhhh!!!!

thinking of you fondly as I eat a French bread pizza

2009-09-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

Hi Lionel!

I like French bread pizza too! Like you!

Woop dee doo

Me and you

French bread pizza for two

I wonder as I wander

2009-09-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's fun to play tourist. Kent had never been to the cathedral. So we went. We wandered aimlessly and it was lovely. There was choir practice providing the soundtrack which is usually just in my head. Somehow we used the service stairs to get to the observation deck. We busted through an emergency exit door into a room of people who turned and gaped. On the way back down we opted for the elevator. We smelled roses in the garden. It was a fine day.

just say no to facebook

2009-09-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person in the universe that knowingly does not have a facebook page? I can barely remember to do a blog post much less update a facebook status every 5 seconds. Ugh. I had facebook back when you could only sign up with a legit college email address. Back before there were those gifts you could give people and pokes and games and quizzes etc etc bleh bleh bleh. This was the time in which everyone knew myspace, but few knew facebook. Now myspace is scummy and facebook is in. When will facebook become scummy? Ever? Am I going to be a social outcast forever? I asked Kent what he would think of someone he met if they said they didn't have a facebook. His delayed and hesitant reply was not encouraging. I've recently met many new people and their shocked responses at discovering my lack of a facebook is RIDICULOUS. It's starting to worry me that maybe I should sign up again just to be accepted in society. I am a lone wolf in a desert of no social networking.

If I want you to see pictures, I will send them to you. If I want to see your pictures, I will ask for them. If I want to talk to you, I will call you.

Puke. On. My. Face(book).

brain bleed has clotted

2009-08-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

It's nice to recap when it's been a while...

Things acquired:

Country dwelling
Career that doesn't cause boredom brain bleeds
Niece or nephew fetus
Swine flu (or just a cold we'll never know)
A new attitude

Things lost:

Blood relative roommate
Discounted face cream
Indifference
Kenny
Sleeper-sofa
Best pal turned military wife

I especially enjoy thinking of my year in review- as if I were a tv show or politician. Let's take a look back...

August 2008
Workin a suck job but got to see old pals through suck work trip. Last ever family vacation with the family as I knew it. Movie nights and lots of fun with pals.

September....
October... end of suck job! unemployment ensues...

November 2008
Thanksgiving without bro for the first time. Our family is so different when someone grows up!

December 2008
Xmas party with sis- quite a spread for our little wellington. Wedding of bro. Job searching. Xmas without bro. Intro to Apples to Apples (family game night I didn't walk out on in a rage.)

January 2009
New suck job with forced manual labor.

February 2009
Suck valentines day. Suck job continues.

March 2009
Old world bday with sis! Suck job ends. New semi-suck job begins.

April 2009
Hmm...

May 2009
Ugh.

June 2009
Surprise party! mehmehmeh

July 2009
things...

August 2009
Here we are!

I just realized I have a terrible memory and that was the worst year long recap ever - yet completely honest and indicative of my mental state in the past year.

Negativity aside I have met some great new pals who made the suck not so sucky while I was in it elbow deep. And thanks to everyone who still wanted to be my friend even when I was no fun. I'd like to dedicate this one to you:

Tracy Jordan: But I want you to know something... You and me, it's not
gonna be a one-way street. 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not
between people, and not while I'm driving.

Kenneth: Oh, Okay.

Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live
every week like it's Shark Week

movin to the country, may or may not eat a lotta peaches

2009-07-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

I am moving to the countryside at the end of August. I thought I would take a long time to get used to this, but every morning when I am awoken at 7AM by the sound of bulldozers pushin dirt I think the country might not be too bad. I mean, there's a nature preserve. And a Wegman's. And there's a 24 hour Harris Teeter. Just like home! Come visit me there and we can do countryside things like outdoor activities or go to suburban sorts of restaurants or shop for groceries at any of the dozen mega stores there and park in parking lots without having to pay! No more parking garages! No more parallel parking! There are no street lights there so you might want to bring a flashlight just in case. While I am sad to leave the city maybe this will bring a whole new wealth of material to the blog...... guess we'll see.

hacienda loca mega mix

2009-07-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Residents of Hacienda Loca,

Thank you for the fun times I've enjoyed this summer - I am eagerly awaiting the good moments sure to come. Carissa, it's unfortunate that you broke your ankle during the Whitney Houston 10 minute European Mega Mix dance-off, I'm sure you would've won had you landed that round off back handspring. Char, please don't kick my ass too badly should we ever meet in a doubles tennis match. Stephanie, get your hands on some Pat Benetar paraphernalia and I'd be happy to autograph it for you at no charge. Stephen, HOLD ME.

You guys are the Sean Duffy of my moist biscuit relationship.

I don't have any pics. So here's this:

Yours fondly in friendship eternal,
Lou

international house of pancakes and oddities

2009-07-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

Things that have happened to Sis and I while at Ihop (all on different occasions).

1. 2 youths wearing colorful clothes and a spiderman backpack ran - RAN away without paying and the very dedicated manager chased them and then the police came but dang those youths were fast.

2. A woman ran across the parking lot and plowed through the hedges in order to catch the bus. She caught it.

3...... eh I forgot what else happened I'll have to ask Sis. But there's other stuff too I promise!

To be continued...

delayed but not forgotten

2009-07-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Some time ago Kent, Sis and I went to see Pink Martini for the 2nd year in row. This year it was at Wolftrap. This year there was a picnic. The picnic was in the car as it was raining. We had better seats this year so facial expressions were visible. Kent was convinced singer China Forbes hated the trumpet player and was giving him death glares all night. I didn't catch that. Sis liked the trumpet player and his long ponytail and stoic stance. At the end they sang Happy Birthday for some old broad and had a cake for her. They let her come up on stage with her stupid friend who tried to make out with the silver fox percussion dude. I hated her in her white pantsuit. She ruined everything and upstaged her friend's 120th birthday or whatever it was. Oh! I nearly forgot about the opening act.................... if you've ever been to a church with a contemporary praise service led by a group of old fat guys wearing anything tie-dyed and acting eccentric by banging on pots - this would be exactly that. Gak.

A great night despite rain, pantsuit lady, and old guy pseudo-praise band!

quotable

2009-06-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

Highly recommended:

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

"Monday May 25th

I have decided to be a poet. My father said that there isn't a suitable
career structure for poets and no pensions and other boring things, but I am
quite decided. He tried to interest me in becoming a computer operator, but I
said, 'I need to put my soul into my work and it is well known that computers
haven't got a soul.' My father said, 'The Americans are working on it.' But I
can't wait that long..."

winner?

2009-06-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

While watching Rachel Getting Married with sis:

Lou: Oh geh do I act like that?? (referring to Anne Hathaway's
character's socieopathic tendencies.)

Sis: Well.... sometimes.

Lou: Gaaah!

Whatever. Don't care.

I won a cheap bottle of wine in a drawing contest at work. We were in a training session and had to draw a pic of someone in the room that inspires us. I drew an oil pastel portrait of my neighbor Souri. I chose her because I wanted to draw her striped nautical inspired shirt with the red sweater around her shoulders. I made her eyes purple for lack of a brown oil pastel. I think that was the winning choice. Why doesn't someone just hire me to draw on chalkboards and draw portraits in oil pastels??? I think I am better at these things than I am at filing and faxing and routing phone calls. I chose to follow a business path in college IN LOU OF an art path - didn't want to do the whole starving artist thing. But... now I'm starving anyway so I should've been an artist at least I'd be having more fun and my quirks would be due to my creativity - not my crazy.

things that have happened

2009-06-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

Well my pals threw me a surprise birthday party! I have wanted a surprise party MY WHOLE LIFE. But you can't just ask for a surprise party... "hey lou, what do you want for you bday? a surprise party??" So finally, after 25 years, I got my surprise. Kent and Sis are so great! And Bill Nye the Science Guy was there coincidentally. And Sis made me a sign and hung it in the living room. (It's still there a week later...) And the funny thing was this years party had the crop of friends who didn't make it to last years party! So, I've celebrated with all my friends at this point it was just divided over two different birthdays!

THANK YOU EVERYONE I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXO
YOURS TRULY,
ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
BFF,
LYLAS,
FONDLY,
LOU

tv boyfriends

2009-05-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

Here are my tv boyfriends. How would I ever decide if I had to pick just one? Curtis can cook but may be gay. Adam is adventuresome but frugal. Max and Jason are funny but might be too indie cool for me. Good thing that's a decision I'll never be forced to make. tv boyfriends are limitless!

don't take it personal!

2009-05-28T16:26:00.001-07:00

Dang I loved that song. Lyrical magic.

I just wanna be all alone! Don't take it personal! Just one a them days...

get in my pocket

2009-05-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

While listening to my new favorite Miley Cyrus song on YouTube (don't judge me) I stumbled upon these kids. They are so cute. Kina Grannis is amazing you should look her up. I just want to put them in my pocket and tote them around with me to show all my friends! Lurve.

come into the light

2009-05-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

I told sis about the new blog:

Sis: Oh I hope it's more uplifting!

Lou: What do you mean?

Sis: Your blog is so dark! And you have a hack saw as your picture like a murderer!!

Lou: It represents my lumber jack career!

Sis: Then use a normal saw!

edition addition

2009-05-20T19:06:00.001-07:00

FOR FUTHER EXPLANATION, PLEASE VISIT THE NEW EDITION ADDITION.

the shirt

2009-05-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

So I looked hard for pics of my siblings wearing the shirt. Strangely, I could only find pics of me wearing it. Hm. Maybe they were strategically removed from the photo albums at Carolyn's house? I did notice some empty spaces...

Anyway, here's the shirt again in all it's neon glory! Notice how this seemed to be an ugly phase in not just my life, but in my entire family's. (I'm pretty sure they would agree.) It was the 1990's.

saturday night's for wallowing

2009-05-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hey Lou, what did you do Saturday night?

Oh you know, just wallowed.

Will someone give me a job? Anybody? Anybody?

On Friday I realized I needed some cash to tip the hair girl. Where where where will I get the cash today??? I thought. Think think think. What if I offer to flash one of the construction workers? Would they give me cash? No they probably don't even have any... bleh. They also might mistake me for a 12 year old boy. Double bleh.

Is this what my life will be? Here on a blog on Saturday night? Sis is sewing and it's shaking my desk/dining room table/craft table/command center.

BLEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

put a fork in her she's done!

2009-05-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

YAY SHORTY!!! I was her last patient as a student. And to go out with a bang I managed to bleed and complain a whole lot for her! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!! Here she is with a much deserved bev to celebrate.

Good job Shorty. Good job.

lou huxtable

2009-04-29T19:12:00.000-07:00

I often felt I was the long lost 6th Huxtable child. I felt like I belonged with these people. Cliff and Claire were so much like my parents and the family dynamic was so much like mine. The policing of food, the passive vs. aggressive, the rules, the values, the humor. I remember being so disgusted by Denise and her floundering flighty ways and I was so annoyed that she couldn't figure out her passion and what she wanted to do with her life. I recently realized, I AM DENISE.............. At least I keep my whimsical dreams of life aspirations to myself and don't come home and sit in the chair by the couch and reveal all my hopeless whims to my parents to be shot down and eyes rolled and oh denise wamp wamp wamp........ Just another crazy goal never to be attained. I'm a quitter and a flake like her. If only I had known then that the Cosby show would prophesize my entire life.

While I've turned out to be Denise all I ever really wanted was to be Claire.......

h.a.t.e.

2009-04-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Get out economy I hate you! I hope you catch swine flu and die die die!

Now this:

wise

2009-04-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

Every day above ground is a good day.

Get dressed every day like you'll be murdered in those clothes.

Live every week as if it were shark week.

Anything is possible, except dinosaurs.

mouse tougher than scarface

2009-04-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

There is a new mouse. It came out when I was watching Scarface. Thinking the coast was clear it started walking toward me. Wasn't it alarmed by all the yelling and gunfire in the movie??? I screamed, "get out mouse!!!" and it jumped back and ran behind the bookcase.

Sis raised an interesting question. Which do you hate more: Japanese ghosts or mice? Mice.

I have to get my branddave dead mouse t-shirt out to express myself.

the more you know...

2009-04-14T14:39:00.001-07:00

Also on learning Tuesday I learned it would be best to have a special pair of wellies for use only in your turkey pen. That way, if you are out traipsing about and step in the poo of a wild foul, you won't track it back in to your turkey pen - potentially exposing them to avian flu.

tuesdays are for learning

2009-04-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

Just watched a show about how they make kebab/gyro. You know the big logs of meat that rotate and they shave off to make into sandwiches? They grind up meat - lamb or beef or combo of both - form it into big balls and thread it onto this big metal skewer thing like a baby ring toy. Then they smooth out the sides, wrap it up, and deliver to the kebab places that will cook them. It was not as disgusting as you might think. I used to be mildly concerned about how they got the meat into those big logs when I would eat gyro. Now I know how it works so it's not so scary after all.

I also learned a bunch of junk about the Aztecs from one of my sister's books I found.

Knowledge is power. Happy Tuesday.

that bird

2009-04-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

That bird that comes to our balcony every year is back. The flower boxes aren't there though so it nestled its dirty bird body onto my table. Gross bird. Get out! No egg laying on the table!!!

In other news, sis made a quilt in under 4 weeks. Her project finishing skills are astounding.

happy birthday larry

2009-04-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

This time last year Larry's birthday was celebrated during a trip to the bluegrass state. This year it was a regular birthday. Not even a colonial one. We went to a 21st century style restaurant.

Happy Birthday!!

a new pal

2009-04-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Chris and Jessica and Welcome Taylor Sue!!!!!

the night I was dance challenged

2009-03-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Once upon a Saturday night, I found myself a sweaty dancey mess upon a stage with my pal, handler, publicist, fake brother, Kent. We were minding our own dance business, practicing our Thandie Newton moves when suddenly a crazed shirtless man approached, all drippy and twisted and looking for trouble. As he approached I quickly realized he wanted to throw down. I took a step back, gesturing for him to take the first move. The move he chose was shocking - a sort of Riverdance meets country line dancing meets drugged sweaty crazy. He stomped his feet, toes pointed inward STOMP STOMP STOMP. I looked at Kent. He looked at me knowingly and snatched my clutch from me so my moves would be unhindered. I repeated back the stomp dance with ease. This went on for some time. I don't really know who won the challenge. Eventually I got annoyed because dude smelled bad.

The End.

dryer fresh

2009-03-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

colonial birthday

2009-03-23T19:40:00.001-07:00

Sis likes colonial. So we did colonial for her b-day at Mount Vernon. Our waitress was reeeeeal in to being colonial. I wonder what drugs she was taking...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS

2009-03-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

It's that time again!!

Happy Birthday Sis/Martha Remix/ OHHNdrea! LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER LYLAS LITERALLY XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Although disappointed you didn't get the pork with opium sauce. Maybe next time....

grace likes shopping

2009-03-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

Carolyn and Larry chronicled their trip to Petsmart with their baby Gracie.

homemade soap

2009-03-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

This was some time ago. Brother filmed. Sis and I acted the parts. Sis and I discussed the other day how we used to have so much free time in our younger days. It was during those times that we actually felt bored enough to film things like made up soap operas, tv commercials, fake real world episodes, and various other commentaries. Supporting myself is ruining my creativity! Sis used to write. I used to draw. Sis said that you lose sense of yourself when you get older and have responsibilities. The things you are drawn to doing when you are at your boredest don't happen because you never get that bored!

Please enjoy our boredom induced soap opera. The characters have just realized they share the same mother, making them sisters. A revelation.

interpretive dance

2009-03-07T22:30:00.000-08:00

Here is the brother/sister collaborative effort. A study in improvisational saxophone and interpretive dance. This was filmed some time ago and I would like to acknowledge the fact that brother has come a long long long way with his musical stylings as he is now preparing to attend graduate school for music of some sort. Which I find so ironic because Carolyn made him quit piano lessons when he was young because he refused to practice! I would also like to acknowledge the fact that my hair is not as poofy as it was then. Enjoy.

a thoughtful gift idea

2009-03-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

Thinking of buying me a present just cuz? I'm really behind the times here as the hype over this artist happened ages ago, however it's all new to me. Marla Olmstead is fantastic. Just watched the documentary, My Kid Could Paint That. Loved it. Who wouldn't like to have a limited edition print for a mere $475? If you're getting one for me though I'll take the canvas for $650. Thanks. And for your convenience here is the link for purchasing the one I want.

Below are "Asian Sun" and "Zane Dancing". I love "Zane Dancing" - Zane is her little brother. Something about those two reminds me of my art collaborations with my brother. I have a video he might kill me if I post it... but maybe I will anyway.

go here

2009-03-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

You have to see this.

kickboxing - sport of the future

2009-03-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

I just now watched Say Anything. JK was always raving about this movie and about how hot John Cusack is in it. John Cusack? Hot? Hmm... I was never convinced on this. But then I watched the movie and yes he is hot I suppose. I can just hear JK's voice going into the high pitch squeal octave and saying "Lor!!! You have to see it!!"

What a great movie! So great! It made me do the loud one syllable outburst laugh that explodes out like HAAAAA! I highly recommend this movie if you're like me and have missed out on thousands of movies over the years due to a fear of commitment of over an hour of personal time you have to devote to watching them. A short term goal of mine is to watch the movies everyone is shocked to hear I haven't seen.

"If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like a gas n sip on a Saturday night with no women anywhere..." Thank you Lloyd. Never listen to your friends' advice - because if it was that great, don't you think they would follow it themselves? Exactly.

thanks dave!

2009-03-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

Look at these fun shirts I acquired from Dave the Artist. The mouse one seemed appropriate to my recent life experiences. The horseshoe one relates to nothing in my life. But I do recall visiting the science museum on field trips in elementary school and they had horseshoe crabs and they scared me a little.

Old Town loves me

2009-02-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

Nicole and OW saved this for me. HA! Glad you're getting better sister! See you soon!

moves I like

2009-02-22T18:03:00.001-08:00

I tried out some of Thandie's moves over the weekend. I felt they were under-appreciated.

today I wore my hair in a braid and sis said she doesn't like it because it's too skinny

2009-02-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

I like my skinny braid. It's not too skinny it just has high metabolism.

Today there was a mouse in my kitchen stuck to the sticky trap paper. I called for help. Sayed came to collect it.

Knock knock:

Lou: Wow that was fast. It's just there in the kitchen.

Mouse: SCREEEEEECHHHHH

Lou: Do you want a bag or something?

Sayed: Nope. (Scoops up sticky paper with mouse still attached.)

Mouse: SSSSSCCCCCRREEEEEMMMMMM

Lou: You're going to kill it right?

Sayed: Yes. I have to.

Lou: Yes. Just checking. How will you kill it?

Sayed: I will go like this (acts like he is folding up the sticky paper and smooshing it in his fingers...)

Lou: Oh. Good.

Shuts door.

Mouse: Scrreeeeeaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmm

The End.

l.o.v.e.

2009-02-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Estrella Morente = Amor

Gracie Knows Admin

2009-02-18T17:34:00.001-08:00

What a lazy admin assistant!

indifference level at an all time high

2009-02-18T17:10:00.000-08:00

So the 1 year anniversary of In Lou Of came and went without a party, without acknowledgement, and even without a blog post..... hm. Don't care.

Anyway, I found this while I was packing today. I thought you would enjoy:

The obvious funny thing of this picture is of course me and how ridiculous I look. I was probably in 3rd or 4th grade. But what is subtly funny is the collection of things on my desk behind me. The cheap brass lamp, my sticker box, the mug with all the president's names on it, the ceramic duck figurine I probably bought at the dollar store, the pacifier necklace hanging from a thumbtack on the wall, the shirt I'm wearing that sis used to wear with a t-shirt ring and Nate later wore as a nightgown....

Here's another one:

This is me at age 7 with my first and only dog Lady. Our porch had weird green carpet that looked like fake grass. I don't know why. Sis said she likes my biker shorts. As my Garfield shirt says, I was a hip cat indeed.

Normally these pictures would be embarrassing to me but my level of indifference is such that I find nothing embarrassing any more. Who cares. Look at these crazy pictures. See if I care. (I don't.) I wish I was a 7 year old and just had to worry about 1st grade and missing my puppy while I was at school....

Dear Persons or Similar Upstairs

2009-02-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

Good Evening,

Do not slam your toilet seat any more. Ever. Stop doing that. And while you're at it, stop stomping around. Don't bang your heels into the ground when you walk. Adopt the walk of a dancer. Light on your feet please!

But seriously, stop slamming the toilet seat. It makes me want to do bad things to you and I'm trying to be a kinder person in 2009.

Many thanks,

The Persons Downstairs

mantra

2009-02-05T21:44:00.000-08:00

It is good for one to have a mantra. Here is mine:

"THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. THIS IS NOT MY LIFE."

If you say it enough it might come true!

"My life WILL get better. It WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL!"

shout out

2009-01-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

HI MPL! I found this pic from the carefree summer of '08 so had to give you a shout out. Holla.

I've known them for some time

2009-01-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

I have known these ladies since the 6th grade.

Kieta now goes by Renee and has a daughter who is extremely well behaved in public. I will email her at work per her request.
Katie still goes by Katie and also Kate sometimes and will be married in November. She manages to keep her dog alive since it makes noise - unlike plants which die in utter silence. You have to speak up to stay alive!
Jessica I have always known as Jessica is married with a new gal Taylor due to arrive in March. Her husband had to force her to like him as she originally found him annoying and avoided him as much as possible. Persistence counts!
Lori.........ummmm.... well...............ehhhh..................... Oh geh.

Well anyway so glad to see my old pals and catch up. Glad some things never change! XOXO

oh geh

2009-01-26T20:14:00.001-08:00

I just realized that in order to have a party with knitted headbands I'll have to actually make said knitted headbands. Hm.

Another thing, where can we have this party? Lionel and I have been debating this for some time now. I still don't have any good ideas. Not at my house that's for sure. I can't let you people know where I live! The world wide web is a dangerous scary place after all. Does this warrant another voting poll? Thoughts?

And another thing, the anniversary is on Feb. 14th (Valentine's Day). Will no one come to my party because they want to be bunned up with their sugar pop? Should I have it on a different day? Why can't I make this decision on my own? Why do I need help with this? Why does this matter? Only 13 people care after all. So it will be a party of 13? I quit I don't want to do this anymore it's too much to handle.

Geh.

Gracie does head stands

2009-01-18T21:07:00.000-08:00

jealous

2009-01-18T20:17:00.000-08:00

Kent met Diane von Furstenburg today. WTF! SFD!

While Kent was busy hanging with Diane, I watched The Notebook and cried like a little bitch. A little wimpy sappy bitch. I read the book on my beach trip back in August and thought to myself, "What's all the hubub about? Why don't I find this tear-jerking? Am I an insensitive asshole?" Turns out I am not insensitive, I just need the soundtrack of the movie to make me feel what words on a page cannot. Ah music, the melody of the heart. POMF.

name dropping things that never get name dropped

2009-01-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

Today I lunched at Red Lobster with Andrea and Carolyn. I drank a Diet Coke and enjoyed their "Quick Lunch" selection of wood-grilled shrimp skewers on a bed of wild rice with broccoli and 1 lemon wedge. Oh yeah, I had those crazy biscuits too.

Then I went to Haverty's Furniture Store with Andrea to look at 2 couches. I sat on 1 couch and 1 chair. (Did you ever notice that you sit ON a couch and IN a chair? Why?)

Then I went to Ulta to acquire some Samy dry shampoo, Johnson & Johnson travel-size baby powder, and Cutex Nourishing Acetone nail polish remover.

Some time later I went to Shoppers Food Warehouse to acquire some arugula. The kind gentleman in the produce department informed me they've been out of arugula for nearly 2 weeks and he doesn't know what the heck is going on with all the arugula people and he doesn't know when they will get more.

Then I went to Harris Teeter and acquired the arugula Shoppers Food Warehouse failed to provide me. I decided to go with the organic baby arugula as it was pre-washed and in a clean little plastic container. I also acquired a bunch of Chiquita bananas and a Fresh Express bagged mixture of baby lettuces.

I washed my dinner down with Ocean Spray cranberry juice and enjoyed a few Hershey's Almond Kisses.

I wonder what sorts of crazy comments these names will illicit?

Alpacas love Gracie

2009-01-12T15:09:00.001-08:00

Celebrity among us.

People That Aren't Real But I Wish They Were So We Could Be Friends

2009-01-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

knit-ish

2009-01-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

By now you may have noticed the poll over on the right side. Please vote as to how you'd like to celebrate the anniversary. Just in case you need a visual of what these knitted headbands are all about, here you go:

Who doesn't want a knitted headband?

other quirks

2009-01-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

Drinking glasses have certain drinks that go in them and I do NOT deviate.

Short green square glasses = chocolate soy milk

Tall Pom glasses (you know the pom drinks that come in those reusable glasses?) = cranberry juice with ice

Medium clear stripey glasses = regular milk or diet coke with ice

Tall green square glasses = water

Please note there are no plastic cups in my collection. Barf I hate plastic cups! How old am I? 2? Do I need a sippy cup so I don't spill? When I was in 1st grade I would go over to my pals house and her mom would always make us use sippy cups. It was really insulting to me.

quirks

2009-01-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

The other night I spent nearly 10 minutes deciding which shirt to wear (to bed!!) I tried one on and it wasn't right so I'd move on to the next. All I wanted was a somewhat form skimming top that was not tight on my armpits - no not just tight on my armpits but I didn't want it to touch my armpits at all! But I didn't want a regular t-shirt that has too big arm holes because then the skin of my upper arm would touch the skin just below my armpit when my arms were down at my sides! And I didn't want a tank top because they are all form fitting not form skimming and I didn't want bare arms in this freezing climate!

Once I finally settled on a shirt I told sis the ordeal and she suggested I may be autistic.

diary sans the crazy

2009-01-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to read my blog. I read it from start to finish and realized there were a lot of funny things that happened to me over the course of a year. My blog is a diary of sorts but the good thing is it is edited for the public - there aren't any super crazy pages that you need to tear out! But maybe it's the super crazy pages that would enhance my blog? We'll see what the next year brings.

I won't be offering any sort of re-cap. Re-cap episodes are such a cop out. They did this on the Cosby Show. It was where the fam would all sit around on the sofa and reminisce about the past - which meant this show was a re-run in disguise! Those tricky bastards. Every sit-com that's been on for at least several seasons will eventually have this sort of episode. Saved by the Bell, Full House, Family Matters, etc etc etc etc.

Speaking of the Cosby's, I went to the gym and forgot to take my necklace off so I felt like Cliff Huxtable when he runs with that gold chain on his neck. I think I liked this feeling so I will now run with my necklace on intentionally now.

Just so you know, In Lou Of is approaching its 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY on February 14th. I'd like to come up with a way to commemorate this special day (without resulting to a re-cap episode!) Thoughts?

hitting the nail on the head

2009-01-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

David Sedaris, Naked:

"During episodes of unemployment I find it rewarding to sleep as much as
possible - anywhere from twelve to fourteen hours a day is a good starting
point. Sleep spares you humiliation and saves money at the same time:
nothing to eat, nothing to buy, just lie back and dream your life away."

I slept for fifteen hours last night....

'appie 'awlidaise

2008-12-23T19:37:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Gracie and the cast of In Lou Of - The Sitcom. (Check local listings for air times.)

last minute gift idea

2008-12-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

Just in case you need a gift idea for the lady of your life. These sparkly numbers are sure to fit the bill. Tree ornaments. Earrings. Perfection.

Trolling for Photos

2008-12-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

I did not take any pics at the wedding so I had to go to all these elaborate measures to steal photos from others. I had to sign on to Andrea's facebook (since I don't participate in social networking sites) and then track down the pictures but turns out I don't know how to work facebook anymore since they changed everything since I last used it a couple years ago. Will I forget how to work technology when I'm older?

More photos I've stolen:

Congratulations Nate and Jodie

2008-12-18T17:33:00.001-08:00

KW needs a hug (or a girlfriend or something)

2008-12-09T20:37:00.000-08:00

What the heck happened to Kanye West? I downloaded his new album (after the recent ipod acquisition natch) and he is such a heartbroken depressed fellow! That Alexis girl must've really done a number on him. I love the album because I love all things melancholy but I do have to wonder about all the sordid details of KW's personal life.

acquisitions

2008-12-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

This weekend I will acquire the following:

1 new sister
0 monies of unemployment
20 hours of car travel time

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The sister is the best part. Hi Jodie!

I already acquired:

1 new ipod (thanks mama)

A new sister AND an ipod in one week? My chest hurts from excitement. Oh wait I think it's heartburn. Or the weight of the world crushing my chest bones into little crunchy bits that are digging into my lungs until they burst. Or just excitement. It's hard to tell really.

oh rats

2008-12-07T19:49:00.000-08:00

Last night I was taking a stroll over to Annie's for a late night snack with my pal, Kent. Suddenly, a rat crosses the sidewalk in front of us. I jumped up and down. There was no chair to jump up on to so I just jumped in the air. I almost jumped on Kent. My heart was all a-flutter.

This other time Kent and I were strolling and came across a dead rat in the middle of the sidewalk, belly up. Why would you die just there? Why not in a grassy patch or under a box somewhere? I almost stepped on it. Can you imagine? Gak.

I hope I don't end my life belly up on a sidewalk...

with utmost appreciation and gratitude

2008-11-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a holiday I DO participate in.

I am a selfish person. I don't acknowledge the many gifts I receive on a daily basis. Some have a natural enthusiasm for charity but I have always had an aversion to it. Maybe in a way, by volunteering or doing acts of kindness it brings attention to the fact that I am undeserving of my easy life and therefore I avoid confronting this feeling by avoiding the acts altogether. I avoid the mushy gushy. I will give all my clothes to charity but don't want the personal interaction that comes with volunteer work. It is too personal. I bet there are a lot of people that have this aversion but don't ever admit it because it sounds so ridiculous.

The "world", as in the globe, is not something I can change. But I can have an effect on all the people I encounter in my life. Maybe the love and appreciation I give to them will have a ripple effect. And at least the world, my immediate world, the small circle of people around me, can be impacted by my actions. So maybe, not volunteering doesn't make me a bad person. Maybe the way that I treat the loves in my life is my personal form of charity and my form of contributing, because it is pure and it is from my heart.

To all my loves,

Thank you for being part of my world. I promise to be kind and genuine and
always appreciative of you. I promise to give my time and attention and help
when needed. I'm more grateful for you, my family and friends, than for anything
else in my life. Please remember, I love every one of you with all my heart
(even though I might not say it out loud - remember, I have problems with mushy
stuff!)

With deepest love and admiration always,

LC

AND JUST SO THIS DOESN'T GET TOO MUSHY, HERE IS THE ONLY EXISTING PHOTO I HAVE OF THE WEIRD KID KENNY THAT LIVES IN MY BUILDING AND MAKES SIS AND I VERY UNEASY. STORIES TO FOLLOW (EVENTUALLY...) I CAN'T EVEN STAY SERIOUS FOR ONE BLOG POST.

Mother of Jesus

2008-11-20T14:20:00.003-08:00

HI CARISSA AND STEPHEN!

HAVE FUN AT MADONNA TONIGHT!

I HOPE YOU ARE WEARING MATCHING PURPLE TOPS!

I'M WAITING FOR MY TEXT MESSAGE WITH BATED BREATH!